Saturday, March 2, 2013

The Uneaten Birthday Cake


The UFO (sans the flying bit) pictured above happens to be a cake.  More specifically, a lemon poppyseed birthday cake. A cake baked by your's truly for her dad. A cake that his mom used to make for him. It happened just a few years ago, this calamity, when I was all-too eager to be in charge of what would be the least eaten birthday cake of all time. 

I can't recall anything suspicious about the batter, and can guarantee I tried it as I sample whatever I'm baking at each stage along the way.  The trouble started when I pulled the cakes from the oven.  Both layers appeared to be covered in ants, only I knew this wasn't so.     The poppyseeds had risen to the top. I must have thought that this was no big deal since I continued to assemble the cake.  

It was supposed to be two layers of poppyseed cake sandwiching a lemon filling. I got the two layers part! But not only had each layers' poppyseeds risen, but their Crisco had also sunk to the bottom, yielding a five layer lard-opium-lemon-lard-opium cake. Mmm. 

To make matters worse, things went terribly wrong with the lemon filling so that it resembled something like oatmeal or vomit. I couldn't even frost the sides of the cake in an attempt to disguise its unmixed interior because the lemon guts were spilling all over the plate. And the two layers of poppyseeds made the cake crunchy...not that anyone wanted to eat it at this point anyway.

I can't remember if I ever figured out what went wrong.  I think we ended up buying a cake. Good thing it's the thought that counts.

6 comments:

  1. Ah, what a sad story! You describe the disaster so well!

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    1. Ha thank you! It may not have been a good cake, but it was certainly a memorable one!

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  2. I love that you shared this story! Sometimes the total failures are way more entertaining for the party than something delicious. My cake partner forgot the baking powder in one of the large sheet cakes and you could actually hold it and wave it around like rubber after it came out of the oven. Super funny.

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    1. Oh my goodness, baking powder really does make all difference! In my early days of baking, I didn't realize that their was a difference between baking soda and powder, and that led to many a failed pancake! :P

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    2. I've definitely made the same mistake with lemon bars. They actually turned out ok though. Instead of having the consistency of pie filling they were kinda like a dense bread. Different but not bad at all.

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    3. Too funny! As long as its edible, the mistake doesn't count, right?

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